Negative Core Beliefs — What They Are, How They Affect You, and How to Change Them
We all carry stories about ourselves, others, and the world. Some of these stories are flexible and compassionate. Others are rigid, deeply ingrained, and quietly shape our lives in painful ways. These are known as **negative core beliefs**.
What Are Negative Core Beliefs?
Negative core beliefs are **deeply held, generalized, and often irrational beliefs** about ourselves, other people, relationships, or the world. They feel like unquestionable truths rather than opinions, even when there is evidence to the contrary.
Common examples include:
“I am worthless.”
“I am not in control.”
“I am always wronged.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”
“Something is wrong with me.”
Because these beliefs live so deeply within us, we often don’t realize they are beliefs at all—we experience them as facts.
How Do Negative Core Beliefs Affect You?
Negative core beliefs act as **internal lenses** through which we interpret our experiences. They guide how we make decisions, relate to others, and respond to challenges—often without us consciously noticing.
For example:
If you believe “I am not enough,” you may overwork, over-give, or avoid intimacy to protect yourself from rejection.
If you believe “People will eventually hurt me,” you may stay guarded in relationships or pull away when closeness develops.
If you believe “I have no control,” you may feel helpless, anxious, or stuck, even when change is possible.
These beliefs narrow our perspective. Instead of considering multiple explanations or possibilities, we default to interpretations that **reinforce what we already believe**—keeping the belief system intact.
Where Do Negative Core Beliefs Come From?
Negative core beliefs are often formed early in life. They are shaped by:
Upbringing and early life experiences**
Family dynamics and attachment relationships**
Cultural and societal messages**
Repeated experiences of criticism, neglect, comparison, or inconsistency**
As children, we make sense of our environment with limited emotional and cognitive tools. Beliefs that once helped us survive emotionally—such as staying small, compliant, or hyper-vigilant—may no longer serve us as adults.
How Can You Begin to Change Negative Core Beliefs?
Changing core beliefs is not about forcing positive thinking. It’s about developing **awareness, curiosity, and compassion** toward yourself.
Here are some starting points:
1. Identify the Belief
Notice recurring thoughts that feel absolute or harsh. Ask yourself:
“What does this situation make me believe about myself?”
“Does this feel like a fact or a learned story?”
2. Understand the Origin
Rather than judging the belief, explore where it came from. Often, there is a younger version of you who learned this belief to stay safe or connected.
3. Gently Question the Belief
Begin to look for evidence that doesn’t fully fit the belief. This isn’t about disproving it overnight, but about **loosening its grip**.
4. Build New Experiences
New beliefs are formed through lived experiences—especially within safe, validating relationships. Therapy can be a powerful space to challenge old narratives and practice new ways of relating to yourself and others.
At Spiral Up Therapy, we help clients identify and work through negative core beliefs with warmth, depth, and curiosity—so they can move through life with more choice, self-trust, and emotional freedom.