AI and Tech Work in San Francisco and the Silicon Valley : What people are really feeling

AI and Tech Work in the Bay Area: What People Are Really Feeling May 2026 Written By Manali Deolalkar

If you work in tech right now, you're probably experiencing the stress of the industry going through a massive shift right from mass layoffs to living with AI.

I've been hearing a lot of it in the therapy room lately.

What people are actually saying

Tech workers across the Bay Area and Silicon Valley are showing up to sessions with thoughts like these:

"AI is going to take over our jobs. What's the point?"

"Will I even have my job tomorrow? The uncertainty is making me so anxious."

"I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I feel behind, I feel stupid — I just can't catch up to the pace of this."

"It's like a race now. Whoever learns AI the fastest gets to be more successful. I'm exhausted just thinking about it."

"I don't feel like being in this field anymore. I rarely get to do the work I actually loved. I want something that feels more purposeful."

And then, sitting right alongside all of that:

"AI is brilliant. I'm genuinely excited to learn more, to grow with it, to see what it can do. I want to integrate it into everything."

That last one matters. Not everyone is suffering, some people are energized and curious. But even excitement can coexist with anxiety, and even optimism doesn't make the bigger questions go away.

What runs through all of it

Whether you're anxious, burnt out, checked out, or genuinely lit up by what AI can do,  there's a common thread in most of what I'm hearing: people are figuring out where they stand.

A lot of people I work with who are in tech are high-achieving, smart, independent people who do not fear change and are able to adapt to their working conditions,  we all saw it during Covid. They are motivated to be their best selves at their workplace. But a lot of them are also very closely linked to their work. That's where they receive their sense of self, their self-worth, where they feel useful and that they matter. This is generally closely linked to their identity.

When we are fused with an external thing to feel complete with ourselves, we also experience difficulty when the narrative and story we always held starts to change. I am good at my job is your narrative, but AI might challenge it, shifting it to I am struggling to feel good at my job right now because AI has a big learning curve.

For a lot of people who built careers in tech, work was more than a paycheck. It was a place where you were good at something, where your skill and judgment were recognized, where you could build things and solve hard problems. That sense of competence was woven into how you understood yourself.

When the tools change this fast, that whole relationship gets called into question. Not just "will I have a job" but "what am I actually for? What do I contribute that matters? Who am I in this new version of this field?"

Those are genuinely hard questions. It's not just about adapting to change. It's about who am I?, and who will I be?

Not everyone experiences AI this way, though. People who have some distance between who they are and what they do at work tend to be more open to change, more adaptable, and more able to see AI as something that boosts how they work rather than threatens who they are. This isn't about caring less about your career — it's about holding your work identity a little more lightly.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), there's a strategy called cognitive defusion — learning to observe your thoughts and beliefs from a distance, rather than being fully fused with them. Applied here, it might sound like: "My job doesn't define me. But getting good at AI helps me live by the values that actually do : growth, stability, staying curious and useful." When AI isn't a threat to your identity, it becomes just what it is: a powerful tool in service of who you already are.

The good news is that this kind of psychological flexibility isn't fixed. It's something you can build.

If any of this sounds like you

These feelings don't tend to resolve on their own. The people I see in therapy who are carrying this are often smart, analytical, high-functioning people who are very good at thinking and they often find that thinking harder about it doesn't actually help. Sometimes what helps is slowing down and getting out of your head.

A lot of what I do is help people get clear on what they're actually feeling underneath the noise, and figure out what they want to do with that.

Come see me in person in San Francisco

Starting May 2026, I'm seeing clients in person on Wednesdays in San Francisco's Financial District, near Union Square. I know how much of the workday already lives on a screen — sometimes it's easier to do this kind of work face-to-face, in a room, with another human being.

If you work downtown or in SOMA, or you're a remote worker who can step out, Wednesday sessions are a real option. I also offer a free 15-minute in-person consultation on Wednesday afternoons for anyone who wants to come in, meet me, and see how it feels before committing to anything.

For clients who prefer to stay virtual, I see people throughout California the rest of the week.

You don't have to have it figured out to start

One of the most common things I hear from people thinking about therapy is that they're not sure their situation is "bad enough" to warrant it. The threshold isn't crisis. The threshold is: I'm carrying something and I'd like some help.

If anything you read here resonated, that's probably enough.

Manali Deolalkar is a licensed therapist (LPCC) and founder of Spiral Up Therapy. She works with tech workers, women, South Asian individuals and couples, and BIPOC clients throughout California — in person on Wednesdays in San Francisco's Financial District, and virtually the rest of the week. Learn more or book a free consultation at spiraluptherapy.com.