Causes of Low Self-Esteem and How to Improve It

Self-esteem is the opinion you have about yourself. When it’s healthy, you generally feel positive about who you are and more able to handle life’s ups and downs. When it’s low, you may view yourself through a harsher, more critical lens.

Low self-esteem is more common than we often realize. A person with low esteem may struggle with low confidence, doubt their abilities, and avoid opportunities that could help them grow. Over time, a lack of self-confidence can affect relationships, career success, and overall happiness. The good news is that low self-esteem is not permanent and with awareness and effort, anyone can begin to rebuild self-worth.

Reasons for Low Self-Esteem

There isn’t a single cause of low self-esteem. Instead, it usually develops over time from repeated experiences and messages. Common causes of low self-esteem include:

• Critical family members – Constant criticism or comparisons from parents, siblings, or relatives can leave a person with low esteem believing they are not good enough.

• Cultural messages – In some communities, including South Asian cultures, it is common for others to comment on body image, skin color, marital status, or personal choices. These messages often reinforce a lack of self-esteem and can create deep self-esteem issues.

• Comparison with others – Whether in school, at work, or on social media, comparing yourself to others can lead to low confidence and feelings of inadequacy.

• Negative inner dialogue – When your inner voice repeats criticism or doubt, it fuels a lack of self-confidence.

• Failures or trauma – A person with low esteem may view setbacks as confirmation of weakness instead of opportunities to learn.

How Self-Esteem Issues Show Up

A low esteem person may avoid challenges, struggle with decision-making, or dismiss compliments. Low self-confidence can also lead to unhealthy relationships, since someone who doubts their worth may tolerate disrespect or neglect. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change.

Common signs of low self-esteem includes:-

• Frequent self-criticism and negative self-talk

• Dismissing or deflecting compliments

• Avoiding challenges or new situations due to fear of failure

• Perfectionism or feeling inferior to others

• Attributing successes to “luck” rather than your effort

How to Improve Self-Esteem

Although the causes of low self-esteem run deep, healing is possible. Here are practical ways to build confidence:

• Challenge negative thoughts – Notice self-critical patterns and reframe them into kinder, balanced statements. Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try, “I am learning and growing.”

• Celebrate progress – Small wins matter. Acknowledging everyday successes gradually reduces lack of self-esteem.

• Set realistic goals – Break big tasks into smaller, manageable steps to boost low confidence and create momentum.

• Seek supportive relationships – Surround yourself with people who uplift and respect you. This counters self-esteem issues rooted in criticism.

• Practice self-care – Taking care of your physical health, rest, and emotional needs strengthens self-worth.

• Reflect on cultural beliefs – If cultural or family expectations contribute to low self-confidence, it helps to reflect on which values truly align with you versus which ones were imposed.

Simple Daily Practices that Help

• Notice the positives: Keep a brief “wins & compliments” note each day.

• Move your body regularly: Gentle, consistent activity supports mood and confidence.

• Connect: Reach out to supportive people; invest in relationships that help you feel valued.

• Keep goals small: Break tasks into tiny steps and celebrate completion.
  Daily practice and small steps are emphasised in public health guidance for sustaining change.

When to Seek Extra Help

Low self-esteem doesn’t have to define you. By understanding the reasons for low self-esteem and addressing the cause of low self-esteem in your life, you can replace old patterns with healthier ones. With time, effort, and compassion, a person with low esteem can grow into someone who feels capable, worthy, and confident in their unique path.

Consider professional support (for example, a GP/doctor, counselling or CBT) if low mood or anxiety persists for weeks, your daily life is significantly affected, you’re relying on unhelpful coping (like excess alcohol), or you have thoughts of self-harm. Talking therapies are effective and available; a clinician can guide next steps.

At Spiral up therapy we are a team of Asian and South Asian Therapists, helping the culturally sensitive community in the states of California, New Jersey, Idaho, and South Carolina.

Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/self-esteem