Self-esteem & self-acceptance therapy in San Francisco & online across California.

We help adults understand where their inner critic came from, so their worth stops depending on getting everything right.

Is Your Inner Critic Running the Show?

Maybe you can list everything wrong with you faster than anything right. Maybe a compliment slides right off, but one piece of criticism sticks for days. Maybe you've achieved a lot and still don't feel like it's enough — or like you are. If your sense of worth rises and falls with how well you're performing, that's not a personality trait. It's something that can shift.

How Low Self-Esteem Can Show Up

  • A harsh inner voice — quick to criticize, slow to acknowledge what's going well

  • Needing to be perfect before you'll accept yourself — nothing ever feels quite good enough

  • Comparing yourself to others — and usually coming up short in your own eyes

  • Difficulty accepting compliments or support — deflecting, minimizing, or explaining them away

  • Over-apologizing — for taking up space, having needs, or making mistakes

  • Worth tied to achievement or approval — feeling okay only when you're producing or being praised

  • Staying quiet about what you actually want — because asking feels too exposing

What We Work With

  • Perfectionism and fear of failure

  • Imposter syndrome

  • People-pleasing and difficulty saying no

  • Body image and comparison

  • Self-worth tied to achievement, productivity, or others' approval

  • Self-esteem shaped by family or cultural expectations

  • Confidence in dating, relationships, or the workplace

  • High achievers and founders whose worth feels conditional on results

How We Approach Self-Esteem & Self-Acceptance

Most self-esteem advice stays at the level of positive thinking — affirmations, reframes, "just be kinder to yourself." That's a piece of it, but it rarely holds if you don't understand where the harsh inner voice came from in the first place.

At Spiral Up Therapy, we work with approaches that go deeper and pair them with practical tools you can use right away.

Psychodynamic & Attachment-Informed Therapy

This is where we start: understanding your story, including your childhood experiences and your relationship with your parents or caregivers. Many of your earliest beliefs about your own worth were formed there — through what got praised, what got criticized, and what love or approval seemed to depend on.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Once we've named where the inner critic comes from, CBT gives us concrete tools to work with it — catching a self-critical thought in the moment and building a more accurate, less punishing one in its place.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT helps you build a sense of worth that isn't conditional on performance — reconnecting with your own values so you can accept yourself as you are while still working toward the things that matter to you.

Self-Compassion Practice

This is central to self-esteem work: learning to be an adult to yourself — someone who can hold your own mistakes and shortcomings with the same care you'd offer a friend, instead of the harshest voice in the room.

Your therapist draws from these based on what you actually need — there's no one-size-fits-all protocol here.

Meet the Team

What Sets Us Apart

Culturally Sensitive Therapy

South Asian Therapy

Immigrant Therapy

Inclusive Therapy

Frequently Asked Questions

You Belong Here 🌟

Whether you’re the first in your family to seek therapy, or you’ve been on this journey for a while, we’re here to walk alongside you. Think of us as a mix of thought partners, compassionate guides, and cheerleaders—here to help you rewrite the story you want to live. Your culture, your struggles, and your dreams all matter—and we’re honored to hold space for them.