How To Support Loved Ones In Distress
Supporting a loved one in distress can be challenging, but it's crucial to provide the care and support they need during difficult times. Here's a comprehensive guide to helping your loved ones navigate through their struggles:
What are the Identifying Signs of Distress?
Recognizing the signs that indicate your friend or family member is struggling can help you provide timely support. Some common signs include:
Isolation: Withdrawing from social activities and spending more time alone.
Increased Triggered Reactions: Experiencing strong reactions to minor triggers.
Self-Criticism: Engaging in negative self-talk and expressing feelings of worthlessness.
Lower Motivation: Lacking the energy or motivation to engage in activities they once enjoyed.
Increased Substance Use: Using drugs or alcohol more frequently as a coping mechanism.
Increased Hopelessness: Expressing statements like "what's the point" or feeling hopeless about the future.
Self-Disclose: It's crucial to take seriously when someone opens up and shares that they feel low and depressed. This form of disclosure should be acknowledged and responded to with care and support.
What are some ways to help a loved one in Distress?
When you notice that a loved one is struggling, here are some steps you can take to offer support:
Share Your Observations: Approach your loved one with compassion and express your observations about their behavior. For example, you might say, "I've noticed that you've been pretty quiet lately. Is everything okay?"
Ask Them How You Can Help: Let your loved one know that you're there to support them and ask them what they need from you and how would they like to be supported.
Check In Regularly: Stay in touch with your loved one and check in on them regularly. Respect their space but let them know that you're available to talk whenever they're ready.
Check in with yourself : Are you in the space to provide support and what kind of support are you comfortable providing? Do not promise more than what you can deliver. A helpful way to do a self check in is to check your internal resources and try to provide options on how you can support them based on these resources. For e.g. If my internal resource is to support someone by spending time with them, rather than talking on the phone - let them know that you’re available for a walk or that you could visit them at their place to talk more. If you don’t have the emotional capacity to support them, let them know that you’re available to help them with reminders to eat or step outside of home but would like them to seek more support from another friend or therapist who may have more space to hear them out.
Offer Practical Support: If your loved one is diagnosed with depression, offer to help them make a resource list or reach out to therapists. Share your own experiences with depression and what helped you, but avoid giving unsolicited advice. Stay away from providing advice such as, “you should start exercising”. Instead, you could say, “A few things that helped me on my more depressed days were exercising or stepping out of my home to get some sunlight”. This way you’re sharing your experience rather than telling them what to do. ASK, SHARE, CONSENT
Respect Their Choices: If your loved one is resistant to seeking treatment, respect their decision and find other ways to support them in the meantime.
Encourage Professional Help: If you believe professional help is necessary, gently encourage your loved one to seek treatment. Provide them with information about therapists or mental health hotlines and offer to accompany them to appointments if needed.
How Do I Bring Up My Concerns?
When bringing up your concerns about a loved one's well-being, it's important to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Choose a time when they're likely to be receptive and express your concerns in a non-judgmental way.
What if my loved one reacts negatively?
If your loved one reacts negatively to your concerns, remain calm and supportive. Let them know that you care about their well-being and are there to support them whenever they're ready to talk. Remember that the way you might support them may be different from how they would like to be supported. Ask, explore options, maintain patience and check in later.
How do I encourage professional Help?
Use talking points and prompts to encourage your loved one to seek professional help, such as emphasizing the benefits of therapy or sharing stories of others who have benefited from treatment. Let them know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and reassure them that they're not alone in their struggles.
What are some ways in which I can help my loved one seek treatment?
Encourage your loved one to seek treatment for their depression by providing them with resources and offering to help them make appointments. Respect their decision if they're not ready to seek help immediately, but continue to offer your support and encouragement.
What should I do if my loved one resists treatment?
If your loved one resists seeking treatment, respect their choice and find other ways to support them in the meantime. Offer to listen to their concerns and provide emotional support as they navigate their feelings.
Supporting a loved one through depression or other mental health challenges can be difficult. It is often a gradual and unpredictable journey that can evoke feelings of helplessness. However, it's essential to maintain patience and refrain from giving up simply because you can't immediately resolve the situation. With patience, empathy, and understanding, you can make a significant difference in their journey towards healing and recovery. Remember to take care of yourself as well, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.